SATIRE from "THE ONION"
NEW YORK—Methodically piecing together yet another trail of mocking clues left behind by an unhinged killer, NYPD homicide detective Kyle Cartwright acknowledged Thursday that just once he would like to work a case without having to solve an elaborate riddle. “I joined homicide to help people, not because I relish the challenge of unraveling a series of hieroglyphic-themed letters that some wack job mailed after burying his victim in a sarcophagus with a gimmicky lock and a limited supply of air,”
But none of it could have prepared him for the loss of his daughter, who perished in a blaze at the family home in Staten Island, NY, on February 7, 2019. Four firefighters were injured while battling the roaring inferno.
James and his wife Sherrie, who were not home when the fire occurred, were devastated to learn of their daughter's passing and the loss of all of the family's possessions.
James and Sherrie are still processing the magnitude of their loss, and it will be a long road back for them.
The Sergeants Benevolent Association of the NYPD, which represents James, has established this GoFundMe account to assist the Vitale family during this ordeal.
James was appointed to the NYPD in 1991, promoted to sergeant in August 1996, and he retired in September 2016 from the 61 Precinct.
Thank you very much for your consideration and generosity in this matter.
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